lazy

should stop writing angsty crap on here. i'm not sure if i'm so tired because i'm sick or exhausted, or if i'm just being lazy because i'm depressed, or what.

what to do?!

even caffeine doesn't help if i can't be stuffed to have any.

:(

i'm an ulcer
i don't get better, i only make you hurt

i have to stop this but i don't know how, the only way i can think of is to disappear

last year

i wish i wish i wish i'd made more of new college, and not failed shit, and not been so stupid

gah, i suck. so does regret.

lists

to do:
euro essay (10 days late)
andrew's assignment (no-one else will)
ancient essay - friday
java assignment - next friday
euro reading - tomorrow
ancient reading - tomorrow
print out the rest of my readings, because it's annoying to always print it on the day
buy credit
convince rads im not going to kill myself
convince self not to kill self
that should do it

i'm so sorry:
useless
whingy
failing
nasty
lazy
quitter
attention-seeking
greedy
cutter
psycho

i'm an unbearable drag on everyone i know

i can't go to sleep, i have to stay online. it's not that i'm tired, i just don't want to be awake

i could never live on my own