msn

today, since i woke up, both times i've been away from msn for more than an hour, i've either got a message asking when i'll be back, or come back to someone in tears

isn't it nice to feel needed...

:(

but you know what, von, i tried that thing you said, praying before bible study, and it really really helped. thank you.

mope

strangely conscious of the fact that i am in no physical pain right now (as usual)... and hating it. what makes me so special?

she just looked so sad and tired today... i can't bear it, von. i wish i could just... spontaneously combust and take everyone's problems with me. i really honestly wish that. if i could, i wouldn't even stop to think about it.

but what use is compassion, in itself? just someone feeling sad because someone they love is sad too. it's all negative energy. and if the person they love knows how much their problems affect their friend, THEY feel bad. it's definitely better than not caring... but still, it doesn't really help anything...

and i'm pretty sure i'm getting too paranoid and mother-hen-ish over rads. in a way it's that or panicking... but i really really hope im not TOO annoying. i need to give her a bit of space too. yargh. silly clairesie.