worried? nooooooooo...

eek why is she worried about me? :(

caffeine never killed anyone unless they meant it to. lethal dose is 80 cups of coffee. you don't accidentally have that much. i mean, ew. and this has been a learning experience. eat too much nodoz -> feel like puking in the morning. i didn't know that before. now i do. and now all my nodoz is in the bin, too.

anyway.. 'going through so much shit'... am i? really? ...that she knows about?
*suspicious* rads? are you reading this? argh people and their knowledge...

I. AM. FINE. PLEASE BELIEVE THAT, EVERYONE. I WHINGE A LOT. I MAKE BIG DEALS OUT OF NOTHING. THAT IS WHAT I DO, BECAUSE I WANT ATTENTION. YES? YES.

just because i never plan to sleep doesn't mean i don't.
just because i rarely plan to eat doesn't mean i don't.
just because i work strange hours doesn't mean i don't have time for anything (though if i'm avoiding you, why yes, it does. but that doesn't apply to anyone who might be reading this.)
just because i get upset doesn't mean i'm always sad. crazy mood swings, anyone?
just because i've been having a lot of caffeine lately doesn't mean that i'm permanently addicted, or that it's going to hurt me, or even that i sleep or eat less than i should.
my face is pale purely because i've been in my room for the last few days
i have spots because i've been living on junk food
my legs hurt when i was half-running to the exam (a freaking long way away) because i haven't done any exercise in far too long
i'm nervous or anxious a lot because of too much caffeine and stress from exams/everything
i'm upset sometimes from that. who isn't?
my back's sore cos my shoulders live next to my ears at the moment
i talk a lot on the internet because i don't talk much to people here

is any of that particularly worrying?

...but ok, yeah, i'm losing the plot a little bit. not badly enough that people should worry about me. i know what to do to get back on track, and i'm going to. i'll be alright, i promise. sometimes, yeah, i get a bit messed up, but i notice, and work out that i should do something about it. always eventually.

i'm so sorry, though. SO sorry. i can't explain how much. i honestly am very angry at myself for making people worry. yargh.

not that angry, though. it's ok. just angry enough to do something about it.

sorry :(